i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
they need to just BURY HIM!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
