HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
