It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize