remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
