Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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