And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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