so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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