if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
where are my pants?
in the oven.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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