so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
