haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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