yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
