spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
