just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She bit a glass in half.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
