great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
