why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
