nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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