i would punch a child for taco bell
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
