When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
