Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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