If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You are the jesus of drinking
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
