How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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