Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
