you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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