that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
