he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
