What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
