My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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