i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
