Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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