Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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