Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She told me I should be a condom model.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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