happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
someone owes me an orgasm
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
