I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
