I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
