He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm sobbing to NWA
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize