My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
