I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
