you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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