So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
