i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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