fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Please, let me fuck your mom
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So squirting runs in the family.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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