he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
