You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
