the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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