I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize