She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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