she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Randomize
