Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
