Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
