hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize