the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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