It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
