dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You are the jesus of drinking
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
