3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
