When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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