I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
