my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize