...so i touched it.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
