The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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