i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize