Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
