So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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