Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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