Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
