Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
