The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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